the whole shebang…

a new and improved version.
thanks to this blog, i was able to look at it from a different perspective.
just seeing a chunk of my text alone, i could pick it apart easier.
might be a good editing exercise…..i’ll have to keep it in mind.

so, here’s the revised version**

When the fogginess cleared, Alexis looked around and saw the life in everything—even the air. The grass was so bright it was almost electric. It, like the air, seemed to move—no, breathe—on its own. Tree branches swayed, as if waving a hello to her. Every flower, a different color. Their mix of fragrance, intoxicating. Alexis felt the sun radiating on her face.

Looking down, she jumped back in surprise. Her clothes glistened with miniscule dew drops. Upon closer contemplation, Alexis realized the drops were not wet. Curious. She felt a cool sort of glowing coming from her face, and as she went to touch it, she noticed her hands were covered with the same kind of sparkles.  Her skin and her clothes?  Amazing.

She held her arm out, and turned her wrist back and forth to watch the sunlight replicate, strangely enough, the shimmering of stars. It was fascinating, and quite lovely. Nothing like this had ever happened in any of Alexis’ dreams. She supposed that was because they were only dreams. And when she visited the faery realm yesterday, it had been a moonless night.

Alexis felt she was alone, and so decided to wander. When she moved her right leg, she gasped. The softness of the grass tickled her sole. She placed her foot down, and felt the pleasantness of the soft thatch. It was better than she could have ever imagined. Her senses began to overwhelm her, but in a wonderful way. Walking along, she brushed the tips of her fingers along the wildflowers, feeling their emotions with each touch. It was splendid and calming, and it was also—home. Nothing had ever felt so right before.

Ahead, in the distance, Alexis saw someone, or something, approaching her. It moved quickly. Alexis craved interaction with this new world, so she picked up her pace. A sparking light, not unlike the first sight of her mother, met her.

This orb also became a person. Another gorgeous woman, with skin similar to Alexis‘ own. The dress she wore was even more scintillating. It was phenomenal.

The beauty spoke. “Hello, Kellyn. We have been waiting for you here.”

*so, there ya go. i’m sure it’ll change as i canthelpmyself from changing at least one thing when i look over my work.. but hey, it is what it is for now. and i’m happy for the moment =)
that’s what counts, right??

oh, and–here’s the cover i was using on authonomy (the book is private on there for now until i get some more writing done and it’s edited a little more)::

the cover art was done by jasmine beckett-griffith. hence the watermark…
i think it’s beautiful