the whole shebang... » excerpts

i’ve been flogged!!!

Eden Tyler — Mon, 03 Aug 2009 18:35:36 +0000

and i’m quite happy.
the editor didn’t love it, but he *liked* it enough.
most importantly, he only corrected one small bit of writing!!!!
chapter one is far from being as it should be—i’ve even been working on a new opening, which i briefly spoke of on giveagirlapen.com last friday. i sent my work in knowing it wasn’t *ready* so i’m beyond chuffed (i love british speak!) that this flogging went as well as it did.
pleasepleaseplease check it out!

comments either here or there will be greatly appreciated =)

oh, another thing…

Eden Tyler — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 19:31:11 +0000

first five sentences are up — 16 submissions are posted.
stop on by and give your thoughts =)
(as of right now, there’s only one post above the first critique, so they’re easy to find…)
i’m sure all the writers would appreciate it

been writing. here’s an excerpt.

Eden Tyler — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 21:27:08 +0000

So I’m working on my blog for giveagirlapen that I have to post tomorrow, plus reviewing some things for people, and trying to write Avalon, so I’ve not the time to blog today.

Instead, I’ll leave you with a super short excerpt from a day in the life of Alexis Hodge =)

*************

Alexis slammed the back door of her ‘parents’’ house, and made a beeline for her car. At least Roxie would make her feel somewhat normal. Her 1967 VW Beetle was in pristine condition, and Alexis could not imagine any other car suiting her so well.

She grabbed the door handle, and quickly drew her hand back.

“Damn it!” That frackin’ hurt! What the hell?

Once again, she attempted to open the car door. Her hand was met with the same response—searing pain.

Can something please be normal in my life for one freaking second today? Just one thing?!

Dropping down to her knees, holding her useless right hand at her waist, Alexis shuffled around in her purse for her phone. Her left hand was fairly incapable of doing anything helpful, but she was able to scroll to Hollie’s number and hit send.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Hols. Can you come help me?” Alexis started to sniffle, and tears once again welled up. She let them fall. And fall.

“What’s going on, sweets? Why are you crying? Where are you?” Hollie sounded frantic.

“I don’t know. I don’t know. I just need to leave and I can’t. My parents aren’t my parents and my car just burned me….” She was sobbing so hard at this point that her words were all jumbled together and made no sense.

“Alexis—calm down. I don’t know what’s going on, but I’ll get over to you. You at home?”

“Yeah,” Alexis managed to blubber out.

Hollie reassured Alexis she’d be right there, and Alexis just let the phone drop back into her purse. She curled up into a ball, her forehead on her knees, tears spilling freely.

When it seemed she no longer had anything left to cry, Alexis felt a reassuring hand on her back. She slowly sat up, wiped her nose with her palm like a little kid, and looked to see who was there.

*************

Most likely, I’ll take a look at this tonight or tomorrow morning and revise a bit. Then I’ll post a revision.
If anyone feels like critiquing, go for it!!
=)

i just added new pages!

Eden Tyler — Sat, 20 Jun 2009 05:26:10 +0000

it shows them at the top of the page, but that tab really does you no good.
if you feel like reading any excerpts or blog comments/entries/stories/whatever, check out the ‘extra pages’ section on the right.
let me know what you think, if you feel like it—or get around to it.

i’m going to sleep now.
the crazy storm is over and i’m exhausted….
yay! bed. one of my fave things ever is sleeping.
so much fun!! nite, all =)

-e*

btw—i had over 50 page views today (well, technically yesterday—the 19th). thanks to all who read and comment. it’s insanely, greatly appreciated. truly!!! xx

revision of yesterday’s excerpt.

Eden Tyler — Fri, 12 Jun 2009 18:45:20 +0000

a new and improved version.
thanks to this blog, i was able to look at it from a different perspective.
just seeing a chunk of my text alone, i could pick it apart easier.
might be a good editing exercise…..i’ll have to keep it in mind.

so, here’s the revised version**

When the fogginess cleared, Alexis looked around and saw the life in everything—even the air. The grass was so bright it was almost electric. It, like the air, seemed to move—no, breathe—on its own. Tree branches swayed, as if waving a hello to her. Every flower, a different color. Their mix of fragrance, intoxicating. Alexis felt the sun radiating on her face.

Looking down, she jumped back in surprise. Her clothes glistened with miniscule dew drops. Upon closer contemplation, Alexis realized the drops were not wet. Curious. She felt a cool sort of glowing coming from her face, and as she went to touch it, she noticed her hands were covered with the same kind of sparkles. Her skin and her clothes? Amazing.

She held her arm out, and turned her wrist back and forth to watch the sunlight replicate, strangely enough, the shimmering of stars. It was fascinating, and quite lovely. Nothing like this had ever happened in any of Alexis’ dreams. She supposed that was because they were only dreams. And when she visited the faery realm yesterday, it had been a moonless night.

Alexis felt she was alone, and so decided to wander. When she moved her right leg, she gasped. The softness of the grass tickled her sole. She placed her foot down, and felt the pleasantness of the soft thatch. It was better than she could have ever imagined. Her senses began to overwhelm her, but in a wonderful way. Walking along, she brushed the tips of her fingers along the wildflowers, feeling their emotions with each touch. It was splendid and calming, and it was also—home. Nothing had ever felt so right before.

Ahead, in the distance, Alexis saw someone, or something, approaching her. It moved quickly. Alexis craved interaction with this new world, so she picked up her pace. A sparking light, not unlike the first sight of her mother, met her.

This orb also became a person. Another gorgeous woman, with skin similar to Alexis‘ own. The dress she wore was even more scintillating. It was phenomenal.

The beauty spoke. “Hello, Kellyn. We have been waiting for you here.”

*so, there ya go. i’m sure it’ll change as i canthelpmyself from changing at least one thing when i look over my work.. but hey, it is what it is for now. and i’m happy for the moment =)
that’s what counts, right??

oh, and–here’s the cover i was using on authonomy (the book is private on there for now until i get some more writing done and it’s edited a little more)::

the cover art was done by jasmine beckett-griffith. hence the watermark…
i think it’s beautiful

giveagirlapen + ‘avalon’ excerpt

Eden Tyler — Thu, 11 Jun 2009 20:05:20 +0000

1) Yesterday, I was asked to Officially be a ‘Girl With a Pen’ on giveagirlapen.com =) I’m thrilled about this new development! I’ve posted on there a lot, and was even a guest blogger, and now I get to be a part of the team. I’ve had it as one of my links on here for a while now. Amazing stuff!!! The girls are wonderful and I’m honored to be a part of it all!

2) I’ve decided to post an excerpt of The Abandoned Edge of Avalon on here today.
I’m going to see if I get any feedback (ha!) and maybe I’ll continue to post more as time goes on. Today, I just picked a random part. Well, not really random…it’s the part that my mommy (I know, I know =P) really liked. She thought it was great
So, here it is**

When the fogginess cleared, Alexis looked around and saw life in everything—even the air. The grass was so bright it was almost lime-colored. It, like the air, seemed to move—no, breathe—on its own. Tree branches swayed, as if waving a hello to her. Every flower, a different, fabulous color. The mix of fragrances was intoxicating. Alexis felt the sun sparkling on her face, and the breeze seemed almost damp, yet when she reached up to brush her cheek, she found it was dry.

She jumped back in surprise when she looked down. Her clothes glistened with miniscule dew drops. Like her face, though, nothing felt wet. Alexis held her arm out, and turned her wrist back and forth to watch the sunlight illuminate, strangely enough, the shimmering of stars. It was beautiful and fascinating, and lovely. Nothing like this had ever happened in any of her dreams. Because they were only dreams, she supposed. And when she was actually in the faery realm yesterday, it had been a moonless night.

Alexis felt she was alone, and so decided to wander. When she moved her right leg, she gasped. The softness of the grass tickled her sole. She placed her foot down, and felt the pleasantness of the soft thatch. It was better than she could have ever imagined. Her senses began to overwhelm her, but in a wonderful way. Walking along, she brushed the tips of her fingers along the wildflowers, feeling their different emotions with each touch. It was splendid and calming, and it was also—home. Nothing had ever felt so right before.

This orb also became a person. Another gorgeous woman, with skin similar to Alexis‘ own. The dress she wore was even more scintillating. It was phenomenal.

The beauty spoke. “Hello, Kellyn. We have been waiting for you here.”

prologue

Eden Tyler — Sat, 06 Jun 2009 22:03:39 +0000

I posted the most recent version of my prologue on my Goodreads site.

http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/43068.The_Abandoned_Edge_of_Avalon

I did this because I’ve made the book private on Authonomy for a while. Just until I get some more work done on it..

if you choose to read my beginning, here’s a big thank you for ya!!
xx -e*