Comments on: looking for a blurb critique. pretty please =)

By: Eden Tyler

Eden Tyler — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 17:41:53 +0000

yeah, that’s the logline =)
it’s like the short blurb that would be used for a review in a newspaper or the like. so it would be used separately from the longer blurb below.
so, i guess that means you think it’s all ok
thank you!!!

By: Tricia

Tricia — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 16:03:09 +0000

The sentence that starts with visions.

By: Eden Tyler

Eden Tyler — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 15:21:28 +0000

interesting. thanks!!
–wait, by ‘first line,’ do you mean the logline? the sentence that’s separated by a space? if so, it’s not part of the blurb..
but, i’ll still take a look =)
-e*

By: Tricia

Tricia — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 15:19:13 +0000

I would leave out the first line. The rest tells the story. Good pitch.

By: Eden Tyler

Eden Tyler — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 14:55:14 +0000

thank you!!
good to know it’s something you might read. yay!
and, i’ll definitely take a look as to what i can give the heave-ho…tighten things up a bit.
thanks so much =)
-e*

By: brwne

brwne — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 14:53:01 +0000

I think the content is fine. It does sound interesting (i mean, i’d like to read this book, judging from the general description). But I think the basic structuring needs to be re-done and made more concise.